Sheesh..as an educator, I wonder why we don't teach about relationshipz in general...For all the submissivez out there...the following are my *secretz* to finding HIM/HER. (Could sell thiz stuff). Thiz iz a 12-Step program...pen, paper, thought required. You've been warned.

Step 1: KNOW who YOU are. It doesn't matter what type of relatinship you seek...knowing yourself makez a big difference. What are your convictions, hopes, goals, dreams, beliefs, wantz, needz? Thiz coverz more than just your sexual self. There are many books available to help you do a personal inventory of yourself. It takes time, patience and courage to know yourself. Remember that you are alwayz growing and changing (hopefully)...seaux you may find you have to revise thiz at times.

#2 Create A Shopping List--If you're the type who shopz without a list chances are you've come home with stuff you don't like, don't need. By creating a list of what you need you are less likely to get home with a sack full of trash. Yes, I actually had a list of the qualitiez I was searching for (copiez available upon request). Know which itemz on the list are ESSENTIALZ and which are *nice to have*.

#3 WHICH STORE? Grocery, Hardware, Department Store? Depends on your list doesn't it. You may find you've been shopping in the wrong store once you develop a list. Know what each store haz to offer. For ME, I knew it meant D/s lifestyle..but then I had to define what Dom/Master meant to ME...they, Domz and Masterz are not the same. I wrote out my OWN definition of each....and itz MY understanding of each that countz...for ME.

I personally opted for MASTER. I don't put either definition here, az it iz YOURz that countz for you...(but copiez are available upon request)YOU must have a SPECIFIC understanding of what the termz mean to YOU...think about it...write it down...itz not alwayz easy to put thingz down on paper...which iz why you need to do it.

#4 SHOP TIL YOU DROP! It took me 22 years to know I was searching for someone....3 yearz to define WHO I was searching for(with lotz of revisions)..and 4 yearz to find HIM...gawd, I'm exhausted. Remember that you have an emotional budget..if you buy buy buy you'll be emotionally spent..try window shopping first. Don't be seaux anxious that you take anything..could be very costly...(warning warning)

#5 READ DA LABEL/ENDORSEMENTZ--Ask around...word of mouth iz still the best form of advertising!

#6 DONT trust the salesman.....he wantz you to buy....BUYER BEWARE.

#7-TRY IT ON/DOES IT FIT --Too tight, not tight enough, wrong color? *You look marvelousz..itz you girl!* If it don't feel right....it prolly izn't da right size.....I use to buy shoez dat wuz too little fer me, cuz I wanted to wear a smaller shoe size....toez hurt ALL da time...gawd...I'm glad I stopped dewin dat! My toez thank me!

#8 NO WARRANTIES--Diz ain't Sears, yanno. I use to have diz best friend...Tracy Kay Rivers...mmm hmmm...fer some reazon...she juz decided we wuzn't friendz neaux mo....couldn't figure it out...it happenz yanno...but I wouldn't trade the 8 yearz we spent laughin and cryin fer nuffin. Same appliez here...but if you geaux into a relationship with someone who haz the qualitiez you search for...itz more likely to work, neaux?

#9 TRIAL BASIS--Anytime we start a new relationship, itz on a trial basis. We don't marry first (western civilization) then develop the relationship...itz only later we make commitmentz like ummm...rings, COLLARZ, etc. (HINT HINT)

#10 PERIODIC EVALUATION- as we are all growing/changing itz only logical to reassess from time to time...sometimez we don't when we should cuz we don't wanna see da outcum...cuz we want sufin seaux bad..we try and make it fit when it don't...dem shoez again (umm I see I'm bak to myself wif diz talk)

#11TRUST...by now you should be at a point where you KNOW if the person iz someone you can trust...because YOU have DEFINED who iz trustworty...and *weeded* out the others through your own understanding of who you are, what you seek.

#12 COMMITMENT...know your own definition of it...know hiz...are they the same?

Ummm...yeah...I'm sure many won't agree...but the proof iz in the pudding, and I have the most wonderful MASTER......nuff said.

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